Parenting the spirited

KK, 6, builds a tower at 8 p.m.

I've always known the boys (6 and 9) had extra energy, but I chalked it up to the fact that their dad works a lot and we move often. I'm wrong. I'm sure those are factors, but I've learned that we're parenting "spirited" children. This is a loose term, that most likely will be varied in definitions from parent to parent.

Post Yom Kippur service, they wanted to climb on scaffolding.

     What is means to me is that my kids are extra. Extra sensitive, extra needy, extra loving, extra argumentative, just MORE. I know many friends will not agree with this and think that we just need to be meaner and set more rules. I know the boys and this will just cause them to push back. There are only so many rules I can argue about legitimately. "I'm the mom, that's why" never works. 

    Some hard no-negotiating rules are wearing helmets while biking or scootering; carseats always; be kind; no hitting. Do they have a set bedtime? No. Their dad gets home at varied times and we want them to see each other, so the 6-year-old goes to bed between 8-8:30 and the 9-year-old starts negotiating about 8:45ish.

     Do they bathe every night? No. Max, 9, just started not arguing about showering when I ask. He's 9 and a half. Seriously. The 6-year-old argues every time. He wants to know if he smells. He wants to know if he can do it tomorrow. He wants to know WHYYYYYY he has to bathe.

    Brushing teeth, same thing. Every single day. It's exhausting. I'm tired. I was compelled to write this after seeing another spirited group of kids at the playground this afternoon. Next time I'm going to talk about how the spirtedness effects friendships.