Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Take 88 of thinking, this isn't how it's supposed to be...

     Day 88ish of the Q ends the school year. No ice cream, pool parties, sweat dripping off uniforms, endlessly annoying teachers until the bitter end or crafty projects were had at the end of second and fifth grades. Instead, we wore masks, gloves, and followed taped lines to return textbooks. No soft, comforting hugs from teachers we've been with all year or climbing the rock one last time with good friends happened. During KK's last Zoom yesterday with his teacher reading aloud, I was overcome with sadness. June is always a hard month, as school ends, it's KK's birthday, and so many feelings from the summer he was born resurface. Yesterday, I just started crying in my red chair. Max asked me if I was crying. 
     "Yes, I'm crying. I'm sad the school year is ending this way. It sucks," I said.
     KK came over and told me I needed a hug. I did. Max was being a tween and seemed to carry on whatever he was doing.
     KK had this amazing teacher this year, but missed out on three months with her amazingness due to the Q. He missed playing tetherball at recess, running with his friends, and learning fractions at school. Max grew in more ways than height this year with a mostly fabulous group of teachers. A few ones he truly connected with and was equally sad to be finishing up his first year of middle school so much so that he said he didn't want the year to end! He actually liked learning from home, and excelled at it. He woke up on his own for his 9 a.m. zoom and mostly didn't complain about it. KK was the complete opposite. He needs his people.
    I'm allowing myself to be sad about the way the school year is ending. Let's not compare apples and tarantulas. Yes, we are very lucky to live in an amazing house, with no food insecurities, and feel safe. In no way am I discounting anyone else's struggles with my own. Everyone has something. Let's remember that.