Parenting the spirited

KK, 6, builds a tower at 8 p.m.

I've always known the boys (6 and 9) had extra energy, but I chalked it up to the fact that their dad works a lot and we move often. I'm wrong. I'm sure those are factors, but I've learned that we're parenting "spirited" children. This is a loose term, that most likely will be varied in definitions from parent to parent.

Post Yom Kippur service, they wanted to climb on scaffolding.

     What is means to me is that my kids are extra. Extra sensitive, extra needy, extra loving, extra argumentative, just MORE. I know many friends will not agree with this and think that we just need to be meaner and set more rules. I know the boys and this will just cause them to push back. There are only so many rules I can argue about legitimately. "I'm the mom, that's why" never works. 

    Some hard no-negotiating rules are wearing helmets while biking or scootering; carseats always; be kind; no hitting. Do they have a set bedtime? No. Their dad gets home at varied times and we want them to see each other, so the 6-year-old goes to bed between 8-8:30 and the 9-year-old starts negotiating about 8:45ish.

     Do they bathe every night? No. Max, 9, just started not arguing about showering when I ask. He's 9 and a half. Seriously. The 6-year-old argues every time. He wants to know if he smells. He wants to know if he can do it tomorrow. He wants to know WHYYYYYY he has to bathe.

    Brushing teeth, same thing. Every single day. It's exhausting. I'm tired. I was compelled to write this after seeing another spirited group of kids at the playground this afternoon. Next time I'm going to talk about how the spirtedness effects friendships.

Adventures on ridiculous mid-winter break

     

As a southerner, the idea of a mid-winter break in February for a week sounds ridiculous. Really, it is. I totally get that kids and parents need a break from school and agree. I just don't agree with a whole week! Luckily, I am a part-time WAHM right now and get to spend breaks with them. I do truly enjoy it, but it's exhausting and I need breaks!

     Today, my friend, L and I planned a fun adventure to Liberty Science Center in NJ. Quite the schlepp from Brooklyn. It's not far, but it would take three trains to get there. Together, we each had a backpack and four kids ranging from 5-9. I cannot even tell you how many snacks we packed and were consumed. Guess what, as L pointed out later in the day, we received NO dirty/disapproving looks on the trains. 

     The day was gorgeous and the kids played outside after our second train landed us in NJ. One reason L and I get along so well is that our kids were playing on parked citibikes for about 20 minutes and we were both good with it. They needed to PLAY. 

     We decided to hang out in the park area and eat lunch. Of course, someone had to pee. You can figure out where he went. We arrived at the Liberty Science Center and were pleasantly surprised at the lack of crowds! The kids were SUPER excited to try out controlling a robot and climbing in a super cool structure. We watched a movie and were the only ones in the theater. When was the last time that happened!?

     Dinner at Chipotle happened and the kids started getting feisty (RE: touchy with their siblings). It was time to go! I shut down the snack bar and L was tapped out of food.  

     It took all the way until the subway for us to get disapproved looks. Honestly, the children sat away from their siblings and were not screaming or touching others. They were very goofy including Max (8.5) saying to KK and M: Truth or dare? KK: I have awesome hair! Most of our fellow passengers laughed at KK trying to pole dance or M trying to hide in his shirt. The lady who scowled at us had an epic stare and dirty look. I could learn from her! Our kids were oblivious to her dirty looks, but L and I noticed. Thank goodness home was near. L and I called it a success.